#8 - Playing Video Games with your Child - 7 Min Read
This week’s post comes to us from L.A. based game designer, educator, and Harvard alumnus Quinn Elmer.
I recently read a humorous tweet from a stressed parent who scoffed at her school district’s plan for virtual learning this fall. I quote:
“The whole idea of remote kindergarten. It’s just like... why are we pretending?
My son will be attending Nintendo switch academy this fall and his mother will be trying her best not to drink before 5 pm”
I’m certain many parents share these sentiments. Surely there will be times in the coming school year (virtual or not) where the temptation to simply let your child turn on the “video game machine” and play quietly in the living room will be too great to resist.
While that may be a valid and convenient way to catch a well-deserved break from the throes of parenting in a pandemic, I’d like to make the case for why playing video games with your child can offer educational benefits — and even deepen your relationship with your child.
The research available on the benefits of parent-child co-play of video games is ongoing, but here’s what we know:
Parents and children both often report increased connectedness when playing video games with each other. (Coyne et al. 2011)
Playing a video game with your child (or even watching them play) signals to them that you both have a shared interest, which in turn strengthens your relationship. (Padilla-Waler et. al 2012)
Family functioning has been shown to improve when fathers in particular play games with their children. (Buswell, Zabriskie, Lundberg, & Hawkins 2012)
I understand that video games can be daunting to the unfamiliar. They often require some degree of technical mastery and hand-eye coordination. I also know that they often are (rightfully) scrutinized for their violent themes and mature content.
But there are also hundreds of games that have something to teach us. That push our critical thinking skills, and allow us to form bonds with our fellow players. I urge you to put a little faith in our friend Mario, and consider trying something that may be new and foreign… but that also may result in cherished new memories and bonds with your child.
As a former teacher, current game designer (both commercial and educational), and an avid player of video games, I’d like to suggest both a model you can use for engaging with your child through digital play — as well as a curated list of titles I think might be worth your time (and money).
You Play, I Play, We Play
In education, we talk a lot about “scaffolding” one’s learning. Essentially, it means slowly removing supports as a learner becomes more capable, independent, and starts to understand a concept. Think of it like taking the training wheels off a bike, or how video games slowly increase in difficulty as we “level up.”
If you’re approaching the idea of playing video games with your child for the first time, here’s a way you might “scaffold” that for yourself:
“You Play”: Have your child play their favorite game, while you watch. Ask your child to tell you about the game while they play (the story, goals, challenges, how things work, what they like about it)
“I Play”: Ask your child if they would help teach you how to play the game. Let them guide you and teach you the controls, and be patient with each other as you get the hang of things.
“We Play”: If the game allows co-operational (co-op) play, suggest that you and your child play a game together. Be sure to be talking out loud and having a dialogue throughout play!
Video games offer us a safe space to make mistakes and learn from them with low stakes (other than losing a few “points”).
Embrace the uncertainty, let your child be the leader, and remember to have fun.
A Few Titles to Consider
Note: These titles will mostly require a PC/Mac or a video game console such as a Nintendo Switch (as well as two or more controllers for cooperative play).Games for
Building and Creating Together
Minecraft (Link)
Freely build and create your own worlds, crafting structures that tower up into the clouds, or digging deep down into the depths of the land to find resources and treasure.
Mobile, PC/Mac, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One
LEGO Worlds (Link)
Create vast open landscapes, and explore with customizable LEGO characters.
PC, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One
Scribblenauts (Link)
In Scribblenauts, you can summon thousands of objects simply by typing in their names. Use this unique ability to solve puzzles your own way!
Android, PC, Nintendo Switch
Perfect for Family Game Night
Mario Party (Link)
This “virtual board game” comes to life with classic and loveable Nintendo characters and dozens of fun mini-games.
Nintendo Switch
Snipperclips (Link)
A truly unique co-op puzzle game, in which you play two small pieces of paper — and must “clip” each other in just the right way to complete challenges.
Nintendo Switch
Jackbox Party Pack (has family filters) (Link)
A suite of game-show style games, in which you use your phone or mobile device as the controller.
PC/Mac, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One
Games for Exploring Together and Problem Solving
Portal 2 (Link)
Solve mind-bending puzzles with a friend by shooting “portals” on surfaces that allow you to teleport from one point to another.
PC, Mac
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (Link)
An adorable puzzle game which challenges one’s critical thinking and spatial awareness.
Nintendo Switch
Never Alone (Link)
An award-winning “indie game” made in partnership with Alaskan Native elders and storytellers. Live the legend of a young girl and her fox, as they adventure across Alaska. And learn a bit about real native history and culture along the way.
Mobile, PC/Mac, Playstation 4, Xbox One
Quinn is an L.A.-based game designer with 6+ years of experience in making games. He is a Harvard grad with a focus on narrative and storytelling in games. Read more about his work here.